wisdom of the world

The two words I hate are ‘I understand’
And yet I stick to them and they stick to me!!

Why do I understand what people want me to understand?
There emotions, needs, beliefs, whims, fancy??

I nod in affirmation, oh yes! I so understand!
Understand that you don’t feel the same way
Understand that you don’t believe in what I do
Understand that I might be too crazy for you!
Understand that what you felt for me was not so true!
And then lie that when you walk away,
I won’t feel so blue!!
And then hide my face and cry in loneliness, because yes I said I do understand!
And as always I’ll keep the promise
And maintain my straight, unaffected, smiling face……..
Coz though I hate those words, you loved them,
Yes, I do understand!

I stand at 24 today……………
Is it the time to look back?
If it is……..I don’t want to……..
Is it the time to look ahead?
Well, I have nothing to look ahead to……..

Birthdays are such trash………
They force you to analyze
There’s a strange silence inside me
A silence I don’t want to break……
When the phone rang at 12 last night
I wished all my friends just messaged me……..

Half asleep I accidentally threw my phone into water
If only pain could drown with that device
And birthdays never came………
A half-drunk 3 second b’day wish from each friend mocks at my numbness
I want to look at my life sitting in one corner….sulking to its own strangeness

The crystal rose was the 1st present of the day……….
Crystal like me, whose fragrance left it days back
But it still shined, with its artificiality……….
People’s gaze longed for a birthday dress on me…………
If clothes could color the black and white’s of the soul
I would buy some new clothes for sure………

I want to be left alone today……..
If only wishes were granted!