her thoughts about herself are changing everyday,
i don't know if she knows herself ,every day is another day....
She is a lover today Today she s a moron
Today she thinks she's wickedToday she doesnt feel that strong
Sometimes she thinks she s the wisest of all!!
At times she feel sad for all those who wana possess
sometimes she cries over her own empty hands.....
She is a saint when she hugs a childAnd a devil when she shouts so loud!
she cribs, complains yearn for love she wants to make people happy and crashes on her face.....
Then she wonder if people are only worth some disgrace
Yes today they think she suffers personality conflict
but trust me she's a human and thats the truth
she s just human tht explains all

wisdom of the world

The two words I hate are ‘I understand’
And yet I stick to them and they stick to me!!

Why do I understand what people want me to understand?
There emotions, needs, beliefs, whims, fancy??

I nod in affirmation, oh yes! I so understand!
Understand that you don’t feel the same way
Understand that you don’t believe in what I do
Understand that I might be too crazy for you!
Understand that what you felt for me was not so true!
And then lie that when you walk away,
I won’t feel so blue!!
And then hide my face and cry in loneliness, because yes I said I do understand!
And as always I’ll keep the promise
And maintain my straight, unaffected, smiling face……..
Coz though I hate those words, you loved them,
Yes, I do understand!

I stand at 24 today……………
Is it the time to look back?
If it is……..I don’t want to……..
Is it the time to look ahead?
Well, I have nothing to look ahead to……..

Birthdays are such trash………
They force you to analyze
There’s a strange silence inside me
A silence I don’t want to break……
When the phone rang at 12 last night
I wished all my friends just messaged me……..

Half asleep I accidentally threw my phone into water
If only pain could drown with that device
And birthdays never came………
A half-drunk 3 second b’day wish from each friend mocks at my numbness
I want to look at my life sitting in one corner….sulking to its own strangeness

The crystal rose was the 1st present of the day……….
Crystal like me, whose fragrance left it days back
But it still shined, with its artificiality……….
People’s gaze longed for a birthday dress on me…………
If clothes could color the black and white’s of the soul
I would buy some new clothes for sure………

I want to be left alone today……..
If only wishes were granted!

i stand at an eight
yes at an 8

i have no beginning
i have no end

i think of where my beginning began
i see only fog, only vaccum
i think of how the end came
i feel only numbeness

i have no beginning
i have no end!

who am i?

i look at the glass window,

and stare for so long.....

sometimes i wonder if these are thoughts

why do i suspect something's wrong?

Hollow as a brass drum,

i hear the echo of my voice

i become what i wana be

a new character of my choice

a bitch

a saint

a woman

a seeker

a provider

endless faces, endless feelings

sometimes an outsider

in control of feelings

i calculate everything

ignore the noises of the insides

feel numb as if in a fling

no i do not act
no i do not pretend.........

i just repress emotions
i just defend.........

i said i was sensitive..
but the world says its not a trend........

in this procedure
i lost my own composure........
cant recognise who writes this, all by himself,
you, the outsider, or a character called 'myself'?

Animal man!

out of thoughts?

maybe i am..........

thinking the world is animalistic.......

an out of control ram..........

ready to crush,hurt and detest

and accusing whom

yes,yes

another man!

thinking the world is animalistic

an out of control ram

"he cheated me"', "he broke my faith"

"he hurt me", "he lied"

finds a million reasons........

to create a sham!

thinking the world is animalistic

an out of control ram

anger is a demon

and its fury is broken faith

refusing to let go.........

caught in a devastating jam

thinking the world is animalistic

an out of control ram

call the world an arian

call the world a ram

mark each human............

with the image of the animal man

thinking the world is animalistic

an out of control ram

entangled

i dont know why but i feel entangled......

entangled in my own uncertainities!

did i strive for this?

did i decide to let you go?

why is it always so difficult to take,

take what i deserve

want what i need

i m caught in my own pain

yet i want to balm you first

i'm suffering of my sins

yet praying for your salvation........

but now i want you to pray for yourself

nurse your ownself

my work is finished

i have to walk further

maybe someone else has a claim to

another piece of me!

confusing thoughts!

Slaves died as free men
death brought them freedom
but then there are those
who didnt even die free
let alone living as free men

imagine living on
a few borrowed breaths
to keep the lungs full

imagine living on
alms,borrowed or stolen
to keep the stomach full

imagine living on
books; intelligent or vain
to keep the mind full

imagine living on
unwanted desires,painful or pleasurable
to keep the heart full

then how would death be
for such living men?

Borrowed tears,
stolen sympathy
free prayers?

would life be better
or death the best?

its only worth confusing thoughts!

hands

Sometimes you know something doesnt belong to you.........
you wait for it to belong,
in the need and tempation to belong yourself........
searching for idle hands waiting to hold yours........
hands of the sensitive,the creative, the like minded........
and sometimes in the never ending need for those hands.........
you entangle your fingers with the ones who would never belong.........
and to whom you could never belong.........
sometimes the grip is too lose.........
so lose that you try hard so that you dont slip out......
sometimes its so hard that it hurts.......
so hard that it leaves marks.....
the run at the end of the day is the same....
like romantic films say,"i want to walk hand in hand with you forever"
sometimes shapely nails dig in the back out of passion
and sometimes the same rise and scar the face forever.........
sometimes the warm palms wipe tears.........
sometimes the same are used to slap you.....
sometimes the fingers holds the pen artistically to write love letters
and sometimes the same break the nib and write a death sentence...............
i saw a pair of hands again, walking on the roadside,fingers entangled
and again wonder what type of hands are these?????????